desiderate; to long for


drop dead adorable.


remember when you used to be a kid? (that is of course if you are a kid who is currently reading my blog)

of course, we still are. we're just a little bigger and wont fit into any more playpens.

"i wanna be a kid again"

just cause we'd be able to run around screaming. and cause even when we run around screaming and decide to ram ourselves into a wall, we didnt care if anyone around us thought we were insane.

all i wanted was to have fun, just because i could.

so anyway. my point is. i remember doing the most utterly embarrassing and the stupidest things as a kid. and of course everyone around me remembered how amazingly round i could expand into. gloria, haha.(inside joke)

and i remember thinking to myself, 'a few years from now, i'll laugh over my nonsense as a kid.'

funny how we're already looking back thinking how dumb (or you could call it cute) we used to be.

which in other words, oh my god, im old.

honeyed, forgotten & sweet-sugared


"you and your charms", quote wanyi.

haha flattering. until i get home and i hear my mum tell me "eh you havent been sleeping right, look at your eyebags!"

damn eyebags. those huge huge bags oh gosh. but whatever. ignore the bimbo talk.

before any of my wonderful friends get the chance to even think the thought, no my dears, i am not bimbo. i have brains okay! as little and small my brain may be, its still there. which makes me unqualified to be a bimbo. so there, unbimbotised amanda.

anyway, i do sleep.

this morning i woke up from shock. funny really, i woke up in the middle of my dream cause i was so shocked of what i was doing in my dream. (no, i can hear what you're thinking, stop thinking scandalous!)

but im leaving out the details. i woke up with my jaw dropping and my eyes popping out of my sockets with my hair in a complete mess. so if you still cant picture it, this, was how i looked when i woke up this morning.


the utter shock, and as you can imagine,

all the unglamness in the world to go along with it.

so its bye bye charm, hello unglam auntie.

hello you, i miss you.


shut up and reminise.


oh school's over.

it's been three years(gosh i feel old), and i still remember our good old noob days where we walked around school lugging our tablets with a receeding hairline and no fringe, shirt tucked all the way in and skirts which met our socks so that no one could see any sign of existance of our legs.

so now that school's out, there's the lessons from morning to afternoon every day til 5th november and the insane amount of homework(as always). the only thing really, that im looking forward to is dance and of course the countless movie dates.


sure i'll miss school. see, cause all we ever do is things like these.


ah forget it.

we'll get our asses back down to mugging despite our utter willingness to do so. so we might as well make it the most enjoyable mugging can ever possibly get.

library session anyone?

& you're that sugar rush.


for all that sunshine and your smile.


im so exhausted i dont feel like sleeping anymore.

not like it'd fucking make a difference. perfect, amanda feels like pulling her hair out. i could slap myself soon. man.

"deep & meaningless"

i've got my world spinning round my head. so instead of watching my life go round and round, i might as well forget it and enjoy the ride.

'forget it', haha easier said than done, no? funny how everyone takes it so easily. so im joining the club. care to join? its a hell of a lot better than moping around all day feeling sorry for yourself. im smiling to myself just cause i feel like it and i dont really care if anyone thinks i've gone bonkers.

kid, i still wonder if you bother once in a while to read this.

problematic kid.


teenage angst my ass.

the art of nagging.

now to understand this special art, we must first understand the definition of diffusion.

diffusion is the movement of particles from a region of higher concentration to a region of lower concentration.

so now, the art of nagging, is the act of increasing the amount of verbal
instructions being repeated over and over again until the concentration of words in the surrounding area increases beyond that of the concentration in your brain cells. these instructions will then diffuse into the braincells due to the prescence of a diffusion gradient.

the steeper this concentration gradient, or in other words the higher the difference in concentration, the faster the rate of diffusion. we can therefore conclude that as nagging or the rate of nagging increases, the faster and more efficiently the message gets into one's head.

this theory is purely fictional.

clearly this theory has been proven wrong after the countless nagging sessions teenagers have undergone in their 15 years of life with zero things entering, much less remaining, in the heads of the teenagers.

so now i'll go find a wall to bang my head against.

amandatastic


;get indulged.


when you're going out with more than one amanda, all you need to do to get all the amandas attentions is to go

"hey amandas!"

experimented & proven. haha.

anyway, as much as i know a thousand people out there has the same name as me, yeah i still love my name.

pictures today, lunch at ikea with amanda(tan) and jean.




amandas!



soft toy obsessions





"i wanna be a kid again!"





and all the laughter.


i feel broke. now i really wish money grew on trees. or better still, that everything was for free. oh shopping i miss you.

and from all the junk i've been indulging in,

i can practically feel myself expanding. sheesh. mugging really should be renamed as fatting. since all we ever do during exam periods is to sit our butts down for hours straight stuffing more junk food down our throats than knowlegde into our heads.

and now that there're no more mugging sessions, all i want to do is to stay up late till after midnight then wake up afternoons to catch some tv and hog the computer with junk food and sugar-filled drinks and sinful sinful desserts to add on to the daily dose of pure slacking.

am i tempting you yet?

star-crossed loving.


& as our story goes.


right at the bottom of my to-do-list,

i wrote 'hope'. then i cancelled it out & wrote 'believe'. but i changed my mind and i tore up the whole sheet of paper.

cause i figured i didnt believe in magic.

when i was a hell of a lot younger,

i was insanely in love with watching magic shows. i really dont know why. i just thought that if the magician could dissapear, could fly, could do i dont know what illusions, then one day i proabably could & would do it too.

and then i learnt a magic trick on my own.

and when i realised there was really nothing magical about it all, that poof, what you see is not really what you get and that dude doing all that magic shit is really just pulling your leg,

i figured i wouldnt waste my time on believing in something that would really never occur.


just like now,

i wont waste my time on just another illusion.

goodnight mornings


you know, you never get tired running through my head.


oh sheesh.

its been three days. okay correction, three mornings. since i've been waking up at 230am.

its becoming so routine.

go to sleep at around midnight, wake up two and a half hours later to stare at my alarm clock to curse and swear at the time, then go back to sleep and wake up 5 hours later then decide to sleep for another two more hours. and then when i finally drag my lazy butt off the bed, i stare at the mirror and spot two huge huge eyebags.

i think its cause of the serious lack of sleep from my mugging nights. i cant get used to the pure luxury of sleeping anything near 8 hours a day. okay 8 hours a night.

but ah oh well. im sleepy now, lets see what time i'll wake up tonight.

i hope tonight at least,

i'll wake up after i dream of you.

eat munched & chomp.

secondary three dancers dinner date was a blast.

yes the kind that shoots out from the bottom of a rocket, it was omg fun. almost everyone was there, except our chair who is sick. get well soon now letty!

and im in love once again.

haha regina, sharon and jou teng got my this soft toy eeyore for my belated belated birthday gift for my birthday which was in august. i could have drooled all over it really, im in love with all my eeyore stuffed. thanks kiddos.

photos from today.


regina and i.

yup, thats eeyore, that huge thing im hugging.

love the background. and that bimbo kid as well haha.

i bet she loves me too, no amelia?

regina and ling ling.

nicole! love this shot.

shu zhen and mother lynn!

jocelyn, sharon and jou teng.

ignore my horrendous photography.





haha karen!



and the group photo. well almost a group photo.


and whoo,

tomorrow'll be another day out.

now scream.


spot the difference.

its byebye braces, hello pearly whites.

and oh God mugging days are officially over. at least for now. until then,


scream f-r-e-e-d-o-m

come to think of it, i'll probably miss the mugging sessions at the library. come next year, and my tombstone will be in the cafe while i mug for O's. sounds exciting, no?

anyway, i havent been blogging for ages only cause i've been an absolutely good girl mugging for my FYE's which probably didnt make much of a difference to my already lousy results but, didnt you miss me?

haha sure you did.

marking days are here. think sleep, sleep, outings, eat, sleep, tv, blogging, sleep, sleep, outings, sleep and of course sleep. absolutely pure 100% bliss. except of course, there's the curfew on my parent's watch.

but late nights staying up and waking up afternoons here i come.


so pictures i owe.

in class madness,


yes my wonderful wailing caught on camera

and their classics,

"CHICKEN RICE CHICKEN RICE!"

haha jean

michelle and her markers. wait, i dont even think their hers!

"Ahhh!"

lixin and the os-mole-sis



this one, i love. only cause i took it heh.

happy classic natural shot.

"IM A NUN"

"IM A NEW AGE NUN!" haha! jean and her nonsense!

its the stress man.


secondary four farewell assembly.


this shot is omg cute.

haha no i really dont know what they're doing.



spastic.com

this is what happens when they off the light and i forget to turn on my flash.



my horrible photography. but spot the OMG-look!


i currently feel the need to stone for as long as i want right now,

haha just because i can.